All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize