WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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