I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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