Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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