THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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