At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
pop tarts are not kleenex
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I want to be your penis for a week.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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