I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
