dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Found your dick twin last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
