someone get that fucking seahorse.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
