Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
