awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Green mimosas i think yes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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