glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
