Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
