NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
