glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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