I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
