What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
