She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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