You smell like stripper and shame
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
