come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize