hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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