If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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