hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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