I hate all girls vehemently.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
