A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
