Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
