she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
