i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Randomize
