Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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