operation have a gay friend backfired
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
