apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
