They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize