He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
