Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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