dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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