whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
