I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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