my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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