In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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