Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
