We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
