Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
