I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
