that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just found puke in my bra..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
