haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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