so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
