Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
