I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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