is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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