Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
