So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
id be glad to
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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