what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
