I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
