:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
