I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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