Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
