You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
