i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I bet he comes in French.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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