Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
