man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
