Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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