So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize