Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
