I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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