Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
