sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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