Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize