angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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