Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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