those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
