She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
